Rid Yourself of Negative Obstacles and Blocks
I don’t know about you, but negative emotions just plain suck me dry. I don’t enjoy feeling sad, lonely, exhausted, angry, etc. Negative obstacles and blocks can keep us feeling stuck and living a life that is far below our dreams or potential.
What good is potential if we don’t use it?
Today I wanted to share some tips on positive thinking and how you can use it to clear out the negative obstacles. Negativity may be blocking your little miracles and happy moments, keeping the life you want to be living just out of your grasp.
Positive thinking isn’t always easy, especially if our circumstances are amok. While we shouldn’t rely on our circumstances for our general happiness, we can’t help but notice our daily surroundings. Circumstances are often a reflection of our last weeks or last months emotions, thoughts, feelings, and choices.
So if we want future circumstances to change for the better, our thoughts and emotions need to change for the better too.
Believe it or not, some people actually hang onto their negativity like a security blanket. It’s all they’ve known for so long that it’s difficult to let go of. But what’s on the other side is so worth it.
I’d like to give you three actionable phases you can start using today. If you follow along sincerely and consistently, you should see noticeable changes in about three weeks time.
Step One- Seeing the Bright Side
Change Your Vocab
It can be very easy to say things that accidentally put you in a funk. Be very careful with the words “I am”.
These words quite literally speak things and events into existence. So if you are running around saying, “I’m mad. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I’m depressed, I’m sad…etc”, you are going to bring those emotions back to yourself three-fold over the course of the next few weeks. Of course, you may be experiencing some of these emotions, but change the context of how you say it. “That conversation made me feel upset.” is far better than “I’m angry”.
When using “I am” you should always be using it in the positive form. Please hop over to this post of 19 “I am” affirmations and you’ll see exactly why and just how powerful these words can be. I strongly encourage people to listen to positive affirmations before bed at night or even during sleep. They can help reprogram a negative space. It’s like rearranging the furniture in a cluttered space.Work hard, play harder. Idle time gives negative thoughts plenty of space to creep in Click To Tweet
The physical act of smiling actually forces the mind to comply to a certain extent. Especially if you are around other people who will often smile in return. Positivity and Negativity are both contagious so decided which one you’d like to spread.
Of course, I know how difficult it can be to smile when you are having a really awful day or week. The following tips will work for normal drudgery and negativity. If you just lost a loved one or found out your being divorced, fired, etc these do not apply to your immediate situation. But if it’s been a few months, go ahead and try!
- Look at photos of your youth, your children, family vacations, or yearbooks
- Pull up funny animal videos or blooper reels
- Watch a movie that always makes you laugh
- Listen to upbeat music
- Find a comedy Podcast or Radio Show to listen too
- Spend time with small children or a pet.
- Subscribe to funny or positive affirmations feeds on Twitter, FB, IG, ETC
- Read This Post
Sometimes you just have to go out of your way to find things that force/distract you from your routine.
Even if you don’t want to. Just do it. This doesn’t have to be a Sunday evening post at the soup kitchen. Raking your neighbor’s yard or taking a friend some hot cocoa at work will do just fine.
Doing nice things for other people without having to be asked is:
- simply the kind and the right thing to do
- makes you feel better about yourself as a person
- highlights one of your finer qualities (selflessness and generosity)
- is contagious-most people will pay it forward
- a good example of reap and sow. This is you putting good vibes into the universe
Step-Two Avoiding Negative Triggers
I bet if you were to sit down and think about it for ten minutes, you could identify at least two people and two events that put you into a negative spiral.
If you want to clear negative obstacles, you have to avoid or get rid of your triggers.
So if you know entering the lunchroom when Nancy from the finance department is in there gossiping up a storm, don’t go in there. Pack a lunch and eat in your car while listening to your new funny podcast. Call a friend and see if you can meet up. Hit up the gym on your lunch hour.
You should only keep supportive people in your life. If people are contributing to your happiness and well-being, they are most likely subtracting from it. You don’t have time to waste with these types of people. It’s exhausting and mentally draining. So when “cleaning out your closet” so to speak, I recommend the following:
- Do an initial evaluation. Do they truly uplift, support, and care about you?
- For those who don’t make the cut, slowly snip them loose. Delete from contacts and socials. Do not attend joint events when possible.
- If they are family or someone you don’t want to cut out completely...SET BOUNDARIES
- If they cannot abide by boundaries, snip them out.
- Spend extra time with those you enjoy or meeting new people.
One thing that will help tremendously is to give less control to others. If you enjoy a specific hobby or person, do not let another person’s opinion sway you. Remember that whole “If you are friends with her you can’t be friends with me” middle school malarkey. Well, I still see that in adults. When one of my friends is hanging out with someone I do not care for, I just stay home or find something else to do. It’s not my place to enforce my opinions onto my friends, nor is it their place to force any on me.
Don’t allow others to steal your joy. If you absolutely love playing mini-golf and someone is dragging you down because she thinks you should be playing actual golf, tell them to mind their own or avoid them. People that belong in your life will not try to drag you down or control you.
Work hard, play harder. Idle time gives negative thoughts plenty of space to creep in. This doesn’t mean you have to break the bank being gone 24/7. This means when you are home, have a plan. Declutter something, play with the kids, exercise, read a great book, invite a friend over for facials. When you are at work, put some effort into your tasks. Use your weekend time wisely.
Dead time, where you are wandering aimlessly between the channels and the fridge is a recipe for disaster.People that belong in your life will not try to drag you down or control you. Click To Tweet
If social media is a trigger for you, I DARE you to give it up for 21 days. Total detox. The comparison game will always breed bad feelings of resentment, anxiety, and jealousy. Social media can be a doozy because most people post only the highlight reel of their lives so you are comparing your entire life to only the little bits they are choosing to show you. It SO unrealistic. If scrolling your feed makes you feel down or depressed, step away. You can’t live a fulfilled and satisfying life if you are too busy staring at a screen to actually enjoy REAL experiences. Go live a little, or a lot.
Related Reading: Staying Positive When Life Just Sucks
Step-Three Improving Daily Life
Movement has proven effects of happiness on the body. This is why you’ll often hear me mention exercise.
But this doesn’t have to be sweat sessions at the gym or countless DVD workouts at home. If that’s your jam, great. But you can get moving and active in a variety of ways. There is nearly something for everyone. Hiking, Walking, Biking, Golf, Tennis, Badminton, Rock Climbing, Photography, Bowling, Swimming, Diving, Kayaking, Skiing, Paddleboarding, Yoga Etc… You get the idea. Exercise doesn’t have to be hard. It should be something you enjoy that will keep your interest. Many larger communities offer free events for such activities that will allow you to get out and about and meet new people.
I am not a fan of the five-year plan, nor do I use the SMART method for goal setting. I use a 90-day method because it’s what works for me.
Setting smaller shorter goals will allow you to measure progress much faster and it seems that the tasks really start adding up to something significant when you look back over the year. I come up with the 90-day plan and then work backward breaking it up into smaller sections that need to be completed weekly. If I fall short one-week. I kick it up a notch the next. By the end of the 90 days, I might have only accomplished 9/12 weeks goals but this still adds up over the course of a year to chip away at larger ideas.
Setting longer, larger goals can leave much more room for the unexpected and if you are not great at adjusting when something comes along to knock you off track, as these things always do, then the discouragement can keep you from accomplishing much at all. This is why the 90-day rule of thumb works for me.
So there you have a three-step plan for rerouting your negative thoughts and drawing in more positive results. Be in control of your thoughts and emotions and you’ll soon realize you can control your circumstances too.
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